on being friends

Last night Max and I met up for our first date after our break up.  It was a very strange thing to do I guess.  We met at a reading group and then went for dinner at an Afghan restaurant.  Over dinner he told me that one of the women he has been dating, who refused to kiss him at their last date occupies his thoughts most evenings before he goes to sleep – he had initially resolved not to call her but gave in out of weakness and sent her a text message at the weekend.  She responded twice but not again.  It seems that he is still obsessing over her, now imagining that she’s the one who got away.

He was telling me that he didn’t seem to be having any luck with dating but then he receives two emails that evening.  I sense that he may be thinking meeting up with me might be a mistake and wanting to go home to answer his emails and so we part in a friendly fashion, not shaking hands but a firm hug and kiss on the cheek. And then I drove home.  I need more time to get over him and seeing him in a platonic way left me thinking that I am very good at deceiving myself and him.  This morning I sent him the following email –

Hi Max

Thank you for a very pleasant evening although I sensed that your thoughts were on other things/women.   I think though that it’s probably in my own best interest to stop seeing you for a while.  I have let myself lose my head/heart a little in the last few months.  But as there is no future in it I should just say goodbye.  It was a tad over-optimistic to think I can see you without letting how I really feel get in the way – maybe 6 months from now 🙂

I hope things work out for you and you manage to find the right person in the end.

Best wishes

Amy x

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