After about a couple of months when we were both busy with other distractions, I contacted Liam again, inviting him to a film and we picked up where we left off – hanging out at a cinema, theatre or restaurant. We’d had about three platonic dates, although there had been some hand-holding and a deeper kiss at the end of the last but one. My tendency to imagine a romantic happily-everafter however, was finally laid to rest after last night when we talked about our dating expectations.
We met outside Camden tube station and went shopping for our tea – something simple such as chestnut mushrooms and French beans with rice vermicelli noodles. Due to his migraine medication we eschewed alcohol in favour of tea and water. I had green and he black. We talked about films, books, work, colleagues, friends, my dating adventures, everything else it seems but why I was back at his flat again. Eventually though I ventured the question and gradually, with a little more probing until finally I established to my satisfaction the basis for our re-connection. I was good company, open, liberal and sexy.
On the other hand, Liam does not want and cannot foresee our continued dating having the sort of conventional future that dating normally results in. Perfect, and I don’t mean that ironically – it is exactly what I’ve come to expect now. What the last year of dating has confirmed for me was precisely this – I am only good enough and no more. It made seeing him less complicated, as I wouldn’t have to indulge in fruitless searches for hidden motives or feelings since there won’t be any. We confirmed our next date at a theatre in a fortnight’s time and he walked me back as far as the tube station later that evening. We kissed our goodbyes and I headed north feeling unexpectedly happier and with a lighter step. I’ve always liked knowing where things stand at the outset. It made the whole dating thing less unpredictable and friendships can be forged without misunderstanding.