reflections on casual dating

It suddenly struck me – you allow yourself to fall in love when you spend a lot of time with the other person because it seems so natural.  After a while you stop yourself because something strikes you as not quite right.  it’s usually the other person, or it’s you – you’re not ready to take that step.

so you indulge in casual dating, casual relationships.  where does it end?

I read an article by a friend about dating unavailable men – she says it’s because hers is a personality damaged by low self-esteem.  The unavailable men are those already in relationships or married. And however hard she falls for them, they could never commit to her.  It destroys you each time it ends, those kinds of relationships – a form of self harm.  I don’t think I purposefully go out to date unavailable men, but I don’t mind it at all if they tell me that they’re only separated or that they and the ex are still under the same roof for whatever expedience.

And it seems that I don’t mind those men either who tell me that they want a lighter liaison – I’m not really searching for the one – I don’t think he’s out there at all.  So for now, I’m seeing a few people who also don’t seem to have the time to commit to a serious relationship.

The upside to all this of course is that it’s always fun at the beginning – these early dates are what I enjoy.  Perhaps I’m not cut out for long term relationships anymore

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