the arms expert

Back at the dating drawing board –

Me to him (text format):

This may be past your bedtime?  If not do you still fancy a quick chat? 

Straightaway my phone rang – it was 10 minutes to midnight.  Nothing new here, the men are always at their most eager at the beginning.  I couldn’t help feeling flattered by the attention though. We exchanged background information.  It seems he has suffered a bitter second divorce where the ex appeared to have accused him of violence and paedophiliac tendencies, not before making off with his money.  I make sympathetic noises and expressed my surprise at his divulging all this potentially off-putting information to a total stranger.

He asked me what i was doing on the dating site intent on paying me the most lavish compliments.  As I write about it this morning I remind myself how lover no.1 had also operated at the start, being at his most attentive, teasing and orchestrating a feeling of delicious anticipation before we met.

And so B and I arranged to meet that evening at a wine bar on the embankment.  We ended our chat at 1am and he sent me the following text just as I was going to sleep.


Lovely chat – see you tomorrow. I’ll call you in the morning but it’s Gordon’s wine bar – sleep well xxx


looking forward to it. good night x



And call he did at 10.30 and we arranged to meet up at 8.

i got to the rendezvous 15 minutes before the pre-arranged time and decided to take a turn round victoria embankment gardens.  It is planted up with vibrant tropical and summer blooms splashing colour amidst the memorials to notable men of victorian times.  the only name i recognised was that of robert burns.

so at 8pm sharp as i was making my way to the entrance to Gordon’s I spied B diving in.  My first thought was that he has that dishevelled look not unlike denholm elliot in a room with a view.  i was slightly surprised he wasn’t as tall as i’d imagined.  Sitting outside we exchanged more background info.  When we finished our bottle of merlot he suggested dinner and took me to the india club. 

to date, the 4 men who have taken me out have chosen indian cuisine.  i do marvel at the culinary preferences of male broadsheet readers of a certain age who must collectively be keeping these places going!  the india club has remained faithful to its original decor, it has a student common room feel to it of a bygone era, circa indian independence…  the food was quite lovely and reasonably priced for this part of town – the strand.  we brought a bottle he’d picked up at tesco’s and i also had water with our meal.

slightly emboldened by drink i invited him back.  we had another glass each, this time of st emilion, sat in the front room for a bit, necked like a couple of teens and then we continue upstairs.  he has a shower whilst i strip off and get into bed.  no longer shy or nervous, i’m now a dab hand at having sex with perfect strangers.  i don’t remember everything that happened due to my fairly inebriated state but i do remember being brought to climax on many occasions, the final orgasmic waves were quite spectacular when he thrust several fingers into me.  on his part he was hard most of the time, but similarly to recent past lovers,  here is another one who does not see it to the end for himself at this first coupling with me – perhaps they weren’t expecting to get so far on a first date and had been completely unprepared.  he is wonderfully clean though – taking no fewer than 3 showers – which i completely approve – pre and post-coital and just before leaving the house.

writing this at midday my head is still mildly throbbing.  so this shameless jezebel has bedded 3 men over the last 2 months.

2nd attempt at coitus

An abortive weekend after an evening out in Brighton. I’d begun to get the feeling that he was becoming a little too enamoured and not really my type – his attempts at sex by taking some faux viagra which proved more faux than vigour was disappointing.

letting B down

so meeting in the west end one evening i ended it as gently as i could.

and again, in a text and again, by email – please stop contacting me.  despite being as clear as i could have been that i wanted nothing more from him, i received an email from B recently:

And delicious moments they were …

For me Amy, the connection was not just physical … if so, I could move on and cast it aside.

Unfortunately, you hit a lot more than my moving parts.

There have been, there can be, there probably will be many others.  But none like Amy.  I happen to be hugely attracted to women of your ethnic origin … and now I meet one with a planet sized brain to match – OMG.

Amy – get in touch – I will deal with all you can throw at me.


which is all completely flattering but not what i signed up to the dating site for.  so i’ve had to block him from my phone too.

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